How many outfits.....

My 2nd born, Ian, has the most pronounced propensity for upchuck of any infant I have known..because I know sooo many!...One day my beloved decided to keep track of how many outfits he went rhough on account of this most curious gastric anomaly.

fears its not all about me

We always create what we fear/avoid the most, and no matter how long you wait, you will fight your parents and yourself along the way as you raise your kids. It may be minimal internal battles as you second guess your way through an issue with the little ones or full blown emotion brought on by an ill-timed(like there is an actual good time) tantrum.

I waited a long time to marry and have kids, alot of which was to avoid recreating the conflicts I had as a youth. There a number of reasons really, I wanted to travel and see Life unrestrained and know myself better, but this is the big one. I wanted to be able to focus on the issue/wife/kids and not have it be about me because me was already taken care of. I wanted to know the battles worth fighting and how to best fight them. A lot of this is better when you have the right partner. My wife is amazing and has shown me so many beautiful and useful things since we first met, but what initially attracted me to her was what I still to this day love her most for, the simplicity of her happiness.

It doesn't take much to be happy when one chooses so, just watch any two little kids when they meet on a play ground, they will follow each other around and find tons of ways to have fun, even if it is just the folowing each other around part. My wife, and now my boys, are a daily reminder that happiness is not conditional, it is a choice. By making this choice; forgetting about bills and foreclosure and our relatives woes with healthcare and earthquakes around the world, I can focus fully on enjoying the gifts of my kids, who constantly surprise me with their fledgling modes of expression and play.

Spring is here

It has been over a year and this still hasn't taken shape. The blog started out as a way to share the day to day of our new arrival, Thomas Liam. It was also going to be a place to vent, postuelate and otherwise ramble with banter to fill the white space between the cute pictures.

Having no real feedback stream this inital attempt has floundered. Having recovered somewhat from the throes of baby #2 and the job that was killing me, as an attempt to connect with the rest of the world on multiple levels I will attempt to post in a more timely manner.

I am a father of two amazing little boys who are, in addition to my wife, my reason for being. I waited nearly 40 years to get married and even longer to have children, for fear mainly of not making the mistakes my cohorts did and end up divorced and splitting the kids, having alimony and all the fun stuff that accompanies. I grew up that way and did not want that fight when/as my children matured.

There are still challenges, obviously, "fights even"(but those are in my head and heart), but the reward of being able to put my boys ahead of life/me/things and truly enjoy the moments they bring has been much sweeter. It is a shame that disappears/eveolves so fast as they grow. Only yesterday it seems Ian was a crying, wet, hungry 9lb 6oz newborn fresh out of the NICU and bellowing for me to feed him at 3 a.m. Now , 6 months later he is close to 19 lbs and scoots around on his own and can hold is own bottle thank you very much.

If anything, and this is one of the few times I will suggest anything unsolicited, just enjoy the buggers now, foregt about yourself/problems a bit, they'll be asking fore money and the car keys before you know it. You will need the cool memories like the ones I share here when they call from a wreck 10 minutes after you have give them the car keys....